It’s actually very hard to decide to be brave. I wish I knew what it is to be brave? Brave not necessarily means to know how to do the right thing or makes taking decisions any easier, but it gives us a relive that no matter the consequences of our actions, be will be able to fight it. It’s like been blindfolded with a sword.
I only have 2 months left here in Italy, seriously I couldn’t wait and not that the moment is so close everything is terrifying. You can’t go home again, that’s for sure, but we somehow manage to make home of whatever it is around us. I least I know some people can. I want to be like those people.
I was with the shades closed all day today. The grey day was still making everything white and surreal and I seriously thought of jumping for the rush of it. Just to burn my minutes.
I was just thinking about how sad it was to not know where I would be in the next 2 months, but then I talk to Israel Girl again. She told me the story of the young lady with the eggs. A girl has 5 eggs to go to the market and sell and in the road she things and imagines of a farm and a house and many chickens coming from selling the eggs and she slips and the eggs fell into the floor. Let’s be careful with what we wish for. I have decided that my next step us going to be Australia and getting there will be harder than Italy ever was, with all and all. Let’s pray to the Aussie Gods to let me in. Let’s write a political Novel as well and let’s pull out the pussy crap and be adults in the making.
There is a need to rip everything apart, like we need to just take a chill pill and let’s pull the strings into making the shit happen. How can we faster the process and not break the freaking eggs? You tell me. As mind travels faster than time and time flies let’s make a little shortcut in the form of the head bandaid. Let me fantasies about me taking a freaking plain and grabbing my “ peruvian lluchu” and my suspenders, going all the way into the Irukandji infested waters. Let’s see, what to do?
Two months left in Italy, School, work is pretty much over and the last 2 delicious cigarettes, February and March. Empty pockets don’t help, but not even this can stop the creative mind of men to make it happen. Is a year after the crisis anyways, we got to find some ways to enjoy a bunch of days well deserved after the nightmare at the Italian “questura di milano”. My friends are starting to leaving slowly, all the people leaving soon, I have no idea if I will see them again, and that makes me love them more, I want to shrink them up and put them away in my overloaded bag and take him to the tropical paradise I don’t want to return to. I am exaggerating, it’s life and it does not make any sense.
Besides if life is to be complicated, why do we want everything so easy? OK. Let’s break just one egg for the sake of my insanity, which is, after all, my machinery.