We wake up into an uncertain day. Past is gone, we can’t do anything about it, but future depends on us. There is nothing more anguishing than having our fate in the hands of others. I don’t know were I’m going. Do you know? You may have everything you want at work, but what about your personal life.
This is a feeling mostly known on our generation. When we are about to graduate we know we want to work and really make it but we don’t know in fact how is it going to be like. Then we start making internships, trying very hard, we say we want to travel to see the world, what do we find?
This is what this writer thinks. The wolds is uncertain, but there are reliefs, ways to know not exactly what is going to happen but to shape ourselves into whatever is it we want to do. To be able to live whatever we chose to do, it’s important to be ready by heart and mind to struggle with whatever it takes. There is not such a thing as a dream job. There is a perfect job description but they all involve things from us we are willing to give, and sometime, we are naïve in thinking that everything just runs so simple.
I think that a happier human being is the one who tries to make whatever they do, a joy of it. I was working on a job repetitive and sad. I was a troublemaker; the person managers didn’t want to deal with. I was always rising questions like why is it that we all here have more potential and this job is when reached a certain point a repletion of the save day, day after day. The same questions, the same solutions. The same catch up phrases and the same empathy and deliverance to all and the same co-workers making their sad little jokes sometimes during weeks. Talking about work with co-workers. I always try to take me away from this job because it was not what I wanted.
But I didn’t succeed. I always turn out to be in the middle of something. Then I realized after that call that there was something for me more than the same day all over again. I didn’t know if they would take me, I would think, if I can’t go away to Italy, then I don’t know what to do, I thought of going to live in the beach, but God knows that I didn’t want to isolate myself form the world, and the Beach in paradise are getaways from the rest of the world. I wanted to see the hardcore world, dirty, painful and raw.
I wanted to live in a city, experience being alone, completely alone in the world and I thought I was prepared for it, prepared to the work of finding a future; It was harder that we expected, right?
But think about past, I would collect all the good deeds and win over experienced that put us into were we are. Would you change it? Would you trade all your experiences to start over? I didn’t think so.
Looking back I can say “Je ne regret rien”. For every year lived I want a 10 bottles of champagne and to make love until the last day of my life. I want to die tired and full of experiences. I want to share the best with me with all my friends. My One-day friends, my everyday friends. “Vorrei amare tutto”. Sing like a kunsterlin, cry like a singer.
Life is too short. Yes, it’s devil scary to see the reality of the live, how blurry and abstract it is, but then we focus our minds and we start figuring a few things out.Mistakes? we all make them.